PRESS QUOTES:


PETER WILLIAMS MUSIC IN THE MADNESS
KSFR 90.7FM -- SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO

Fall/Winter 2003 STRAP-ONS: $4 WHORE (Naked Jain Records)
The STRAP-ONS are from NorFUCK, VAGINIA. It's not only the last place you'd expect to have a killer punk scene, but apparently it's got killer punk bands, too. The STRAP-ONS not only have BALLS and BRAINS, but they also have BRILLIANCE. The song "Johnny Jihad" - even though it seems to be treading too lightly around the subject matter - is good post-911 apolitical teenage fun, that won't get them into any trouble. The title song is hilarious, as is GLAD BAGGY. "REPLACE ME" is also a great song, and MISSY and KATE prove that pissed-off girls are one of the unheralded foundations of punk! STRAP- ONS is the band you wish Jenna and Barbara Bush were in.
And the musicianship? Come on....it's punk, and punk is supposed to suck. Punk that doesn't suck is called pop music. At a time when Mariah Carey is doing Def Leppard covers, the Strap-Ons are a fresh breath of sweaty, smelly, stinky (fishy)air. The Strap-Ons are not afraid to suck out loud! PW

GUNTHER 8544 http://www.crash.to/emptywagon
The Strap-Ons - "$4 Whore" (Naked Jain) More twisted thoughts from the mind of idle .The ginch who's "pulling tricks and doing hits at the dollar store" on the title track is later found making change inside the "OV Love" shack ("Kneeling in piss, just a little kid with lipstick and tights/Ocean View -- they're only dudes in dresses wearing spikes..."). Having saddled his/her last Trojan horse minutes earlier, the tranny doesn't take chances and gets a "Glad Baggy" across the next piece of raw hide ("I had no rubbers, honey/It was after two/I said, 'look girl'/I think I'll go home with you/Slide my jockey in"). While counting post-coitus pennies (all 400 of 'em), the TV shows a bit of a political side on "Replace Me" ("Only cloned from good genes/Generations much more clean/History for what it seems now/Drone-like workers happy now") and "Johnny Jihad" ("A Toyota truck just got stuck/Someone call the CIA/Try to change the human race/Someone blew up the USA"). Not to worry, though -- the pre-op's CNN broadcasts around-the-clock Circle Jerks and Sloppy Seconds. Group sex. Wild in the streets. "Traci" will be the one wearing a Paula Zahn wig. See you on Chesapeake Blvd.

MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL:
Well shit howdy! This is great! Absurb lyrics, that are much shouted as they are sung, over four cuts of very catchy, mid-tempo punk rock, which sounds like a mix of THE SEX PISTOLS, DEAD BOYS, HEARTBREAKERS and 50's rock n roll. Now, I know bands are mining this territory as of late, but trust me, this band stands HEADS and SHOULDERS over much of the pack. Very snotty, very catchy, very cool and the song "Strap on Sally" is a must hear. June 1999, Issue # 193.

WWW.WORLDWIDEPUNK.COM:
It's really too bad that these guys have the worst name, record cover, and record title ever, cause this totally rocks it out '77 style, and has some of the coolest '77 punk songs I've heard in a long time. 1977 to be exact. If the track "Dying Nation" was put out 23 years ago it would still be today, the undisputed `official punk rock anthem'. It's like "Here lies this dying nation, kiss the last generation, gumball junkie, love life flunkies, we're the lost generation." Fucking genius! Rhyming nation with generation, and then generation with generation: pure gold! The rest 3 songs follow in Dying Nation's path well, but don't quite match up to the amazingness. I don't really like the track "Wicca Chicka" that much because it's a really stupid word. But it's cool cause they make fun of goth chicks. July 2000 Reviewed by Ken: July 8, 2000

FLIPSIDE:
PIMPS "Wicca Chicka" EP Four Songs, garagey/'77 non-difficult punk from VA Beach, I don't really understand the lyrics ("Cruisin for Creation a can of beer," "Nose Pain won't you let me down") but the musical parts sure are catchy. It's got a big hole, if that matters. -Cuss Baxter (Rapid Pulse PO Box 5075, Milford. CT 06460). Issue #121, Summer 2000.

NINEVOLT:
Norfolk based PIMPS complete with new bass player, Gordie, have recieved national exposure with their latest musical effort Comparisions have been made to early punk and garage rock. See for yourself as the band will be playing with The Goons and The Stations at Sunset Grille in Va.Beach.

COGANS:
How one band can possibly play that drunk is beyond me. They packed the house.

VIC DEMISE, ROCK CRITIC, WRITER:
On the numerous occasions that I've seen The Pimps, they either sucked or their set was awe inspiring as an exorcism turned snuff film. At some shows they appear to be in a sort of collective daze, barely remembering what songs they were playing, let alone the fact, that they were on stage. While other gigs were lethal detonations of punk rock extreme complete with broken glass, spilled blood, and phlemy discharges. Needless to say, The Pimps are a crap shoot when it come to live shows. Fortunately for the unenlightened, the band has captured the essence of its live energy on a recently released 7", Wicca Chicca, which is in heavy rotation on most of the underground stations.

SOSYNC.COM ON-LINE MAGAZINE:
The Pimps are a punk quintet from Virginia that take the punk music movement off of the MTV and give it back to the old school. No cheeky Blink 182 stuff here, folks, just some catchy 3 chord ditties chock full of stereotypes ("Nose Pain,") generalizations and derogatory, defammatory commentaries ("Drugs Sex Violence.") Ah, the way punk was made to be. Contact these guys!

NOIZE JUNKIE, FROM NFTG MAGAZINE:
YESSSS! These VA cats've got that rockin' punk 'n' roll style down pat! Four real short blasts of high-screechin', rock 'n' roll venom that proves that real punk is still out there and ready to strike at any moment. This is one explosive record!(Rapid Pulse, PO Box 5075, Milford, CT 06460)

MAXIMUM ROCK N ROLL:
PIMPS - " Wicca Chicka" EP This record makes me want to become a punk rock-preying serial killer. Nov. 1999, Issue #198.

DEAD ON THE WEB:
THE STRAP-ONS - " Geeking Dream" CD This band is great! The Strap-Ons keep the essence of bands like Iggy and the Stooges, New York Dolls, and The Dead Boys alive today. '77rock is what they are all about. The singer reminds me a lot of Duane from The US Bombs and the Hunns with a twist of Iggy. Very cool! Ah, the way punk was made to be! - Jay Franko

KERRANG! MAGAZINE:
THE STRAP-ONS - " Geeking Dream" CD 25 songs in 40 minutes and, on first listen---- it sounds like it took half that time to write them. Titles like 'Drugs Sex Violence' and 'My Dad Smokes Crack' give a clue as to the level we're working at here and the music is based on refried Ramones and Dead Boys riffs and a singer who sounds exactly like Handsome Dick Manitoba, the ex-frontman of one-time New York scuzzballs The Dictators. It's simple, basic stuff but theres a raw catchiness in operation. There's also something appealing about a band that's NOT afraid to play sub-Johnny Thunders solos in 2001, just don't expect to see them on MTV back to back with Blink 182 ----Paul Travers

BIG FUCKING SKULL MAGAZINE:
THE STRAP-ONS - " Geeking Dream" CD This Record rocks hard, and vocalist is killer, like the lyrics, me and my bro were in fits over Weddy Beddy, Chucky Got Lucky, & Nose Pain. Great sound, real original, and as an added bonus the guitarist is a beauty! --- Crotch

HBM MAGAZINE:
THE STRAP-ONS - "Geeking Dream" CD. The kind of Shit we like around here! --- Clive Monster

PUNKRAWK MAGAZINE (Germany):
THE STRAP-ONS - " Geeking Dream" CD Na, so was habe ich aber auch noch nicht gesehen. Nicht zwei, nein, gleich sechs Labels teilen sich diese Veröffentlichung, wobei der gute Dirk von Volxdroge den deutschen Part übernimmt. World Label Cooperative nennt sich das ganze. Und Geschmack haben die Labels, denn THE STRAP-ONS bieten extrem geilen US-Hardcore, deren Sänger aufs angenehmste an Keith Morris (CIRCLE JERKS/BLACK FLAG) erinnert. Musikalisch geht´s zur Sache, als wäre 1982 erst letztes Jahr gewesen. Man, ist das Klasse. Alle Fenster zu, Anlage auf Maximum und durch´s Wohnzimmer moschen. Absolut das beste, was mir in letzter Zeit untergekommen ist. Nur Hits!! Supergeil!!! ---Guntram

WORLD WIDE PUNK.COM:
THE STRAP-ONS - " Geeking Dream" CD Last I heard of these guys they were known as the Pimps, and in the review, I couldn't help but comment on how utterly terrible of a name that was. The Pimps?? What the fuck?!? Just change 'The' to 'Tha', and put a 'z' in the place of the 's', and you've got the perfect name for the latest ho slappin', people killin', emmy award winnin' rap group. Anyway so now they're called 'The Strap-Ons'. Hm. Cute. Don't think that the new name means new sound though. It's still the same big ol' drunken orgy of chaotic punk rock'n'roll imperfection and irresponsibility. If you're not permanently offended and vomitously insulted by frightfully rude songs like Prom Mom, Park That Ass, FFFH, and Wetty Beddy, then maybe you should re-consider your continuation of being a part of society and check yourself into one of those nice cozy rubber rooms. You could totally check this out, or you hug and kiss snakes. Yes, you could hug and kiss some poisonous snakes. ---Reviewed by Ken: March 5, 2001

BLANK GENERATION MAGAZINE:
THE STRAP-ONS - " The Pimps R.I.P" 7" The Strap-Ons, previously know as the Pimps, are an 80's styled punk band with a certain love for one of my favorite bands, the Circle Jerks. And while they aren't going to grab the Circle Jerks crown with this record, they do mange to spit out some vile p-rock that'll make any boorish and belligerent punk rocker proud. The Strap-Ons get it on with 4 tunes including, "Park That Ass" and "Fist Fuckers." --(JD)

REVIEW SUBMITTED BY RAPID PULSE:
Ya, they're a dirty punk band that you would imagine playing in the lowest depths of the worst club imaginable, and that's what makes them so damned desirable. Pretty much gutter-punks that lean towards the worst parts of Iggy and the Stooges et al. Fun and no-frills punk rock for those people who think that bathing is a policy of "the man." !!! --Keith Carman

MAXIMUM ROCK N ROLL VOL. 213
How appropriate to name their EP The Pimps R.I.P. since the Strap-Ons rose from the ashes of the band The Pimps. These Virginian delinquents are full of juvenile, obnoxious ideas and dirty, I-don't-give-a-shit punk 'n' roll. This stuff's usually right up my alley, but something's missing on this ep.--(HM)

REVIEW SUBMITTED BY RAPID PULSE:
The Pimps sound the bell for all you drunken punks to get to class. They're instructing their brand of revel rock 'n' roll. These songs about fuck-ups, losers, and thugs will get your stiff party started. If you have to have a label on them, it's early 80' LA punk rock in the vein of Fear. There're four songs including, "Dying Nation" and "Nose Pain". The vocals could be a little stronger; but it's still one of the better records I've listened to this month. --(JD)

HIT LIST VOL.#1 ISSUE #5
Snooty garage-style punk with satirical lyrics, as in the title song: "Voodoo chick bewitch me...Wicca Chicka, cast your spell...Your religion sucks, I just wanted to fuck..." Yeah, that's right,THE PIMPS (a.k.a THE STRAP-ONS) play groovy, juvie p-rock with dirty guitars and themes like "Nose Pain". What's not to like? --(JB) http://rickshawrockers.com/hdp/html/reviews.html


CD REVIEWS


MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL: THE STRAP-ONS - "Dirty People" LP
….well, this isn't terrible….BUT IT AIN'T GREAT EITHER!!!! ……snot punk done with a modern production sound……the music is pretty basic generic going in circles kinda stuff, but it's the singer who holds the magic…..great vocal style….great lyrics tooo…I can use a singer like this for my own pleasures here in Frisco….I wonder if he's a top?????(SW) (Zurich Chainsaw Massacre, PO Box 44, CH-8953 Dietkon 2, SWITZERLAND, www.zurichpunkconnection.ch) August 2003, Issue # 243.